You know, I can't believe it's finally here. We leave for Cedar Bend tomorrow. I hope to G-d that this semester will be as memorable as it has been fast.
Anxiety and excitement spark back and forth in my brain in equal amounts. Of course I don't know what will happen-- that's part of the experience. How much could I control... what levers are in my reach to tweak? The usual situation, though, ends up showing me that my finger is too weak to push these kinds of buttons: they're meant for bigger hands.
Hallelujah. I will say again, hallelujah; for uncertainty is the yeast of our daily bread. For who can see the product of a baker's labor until after it is too late to turn back? In the same way, I lead my group as we test this depth with both feet. It will be dreadfully uncomfortable, and we might not emerge again in this ocean. But I tell you the truth-- I would rather drown as a body suspended and dependent on the permeating, penetrating sea of the mercy and love of Christ than breathe another breath of the deadly, destructive oxygen that swamps the world. I fear not that I may never again take in the air of self-centered arrogance... no, I embrace the sacrifice of succumbing in worldly death to G-d's endless, overwhelming grace.
I'm warning you. It costs little to be safe. It costs everything to be free.
2 comments:
the time has arrived, my friend. and may i just say that i am absolutely terrified yet electrified to see how God will move (so long as I get out of His way)? :oD
p.s. let's not talk about how fergie ended up in my music library...because i don't know how...
[inserts subject change]
yesss! this semester better be as memorable as it has been fast! i can't believe it's already almost halloween!!!
hope cedar bend was/is the best ever! :)
-erika
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