I just had what could be the strangest revelation I've had all week.
I've never been by myself when I've done anything worthy of writing down.
You, reading this.
I would like to thank you.
Your influence on me has brought a great change,
(the realization that life is not a one-man show)
and you have stoked flames of courage,
which pulse like drumbeats in the rickety bone-cage of someone you are not,
warming and boiling the blood rushing through the canals of meaning.
Your voice thunders like a mighty tide in the mind of someone who is commonly convinced that his substance is comprised primarily of chalk and ash.
You have managed to answer, "why?"
and taught me that is more important than, "how?"
with your generous existence.
My god has a face,
and he has not shown it to me;
but somehow,
you have seen it.
The days are falling page after page,
and upon each page is your seal,
oh Lord.
24.6.09
22.6.09
An hour and a half of deer patrol
One time, I forgot my keys at Carrie's house.
It was a good time, and I'm a dufus.
It was a good time, and I'm a dufus.
13.6.09
Across the Made-Up Universe
Prepare yourself, because this is probably going to be the nerdiest and strangest ethnographic study you've ever read.
I love new experiences. Over the years, I've played a lot of games. And in a lot of these games, there are other not-real people controlled by real people... from all over the world. It can be a lot of fun to step into the realm of someone else's imagination and find another person there, doing the same thing you are. Of course, anyone can be anyone on the Internet, so your interactions are limited by perception and perceived perception. It's a lot like high school.
Since I've been doing that for so long, I suppose I took it for granted that these worlds existed.
However, over the course of the past year, I've been actively going out and trying new games like this (they're called MMOs or MMORPGs), only to see what new kinds of social environments I find. After giving a few a good try (at least a week for most cases), I've decided to report on the social climate of every MMO I've ever played. Like I said, it's pretty nerdy, but this is fun for me.
I'll also fill you in on some of the lingo that's used, if you're not familiar with the terms. Free of charge.
(Disclaimer: I didn't pay for any of this.)
1) RUNESCAPE
The very fist MMO I ever played... and I probably picked this up at about 13 years old. I thought it was the coolest, even though I apparently sucked at it. It's a game you can play for free, even though most of the game was restricted access that you had to pay for. You can run around and pretty much do whatever-- as long as you didn't hurt anyone or say any bad words (it bleeps out a lot of sketchy words like "piss"). This is because the majority of the player population consists of legal minors. This affects the social climate greatly, as you might imagine. Most conversations end up being about how they're playing the game in class, how much better they are than you (more than likely calling you a noob, no matter what level you are), and how "retarded" something is, which is usually just some random aspect of the game... or their parents.
Terms used:
noob (n.) - an inexperienced or ignorant player, derogatory (from "newbie")
level (n.) - an ordered plateau or stage of player development, usually having an arbitrary cap of maximum development (i.e. 80 in WoW)
So what? In Runescape, there are no social groups to speak of... no "guilds" or "alliances" or anything like that. You're basically on your own, so you don't have to deal with anyone at all and still play. But this makes the game boring after a while... so if you don't know the guy on the other end of another character, you might find yourself quitting after hitting rocks all day-- unless you make like other troublemakers in the game, who thrive on disrupting the normal play of everyone else in the game through harassment and trolling (usually older players). I found myself struggling to find reasons to keep playing after a very short time, and eventually quit after getting scammed by some wanker pre-teen.
Terms used:
troll (v.) - to randomly instigate and provoke to anger and fury via the Interweb (i.e. anonymously posting a picture of Buddy Jesus on an atheism message board)
2) FURCADIA
Oh Lord, I wish I didn't have to admit that even contemplated visiting the website. But it was too rich-- I had to see what this was like. Late in high school, I gave Furcadia a whirl. Now, let me tell you: it wasn't anything that my 15-year-old mind imagined. Furcadia is a world where people make characters that are animals. I said it. Animals. I was a dog. A blue dog, son.
Furcadia was also the only MMO I've "played" that wasn't actually a game. It was like a visual, virtual chatroom... where people did things, but with really no consequence. The population was also usually much older than Runescape (we're talking 16-30 years old). There's some sick people in that world. However, I did manage to share a bit of my testimony to a gray horse... next to a pool. Like I said, new experiences. But I'll never go back to Furcadia-- that was way too weird.
3) LINEAGE 2
I can honestly say that this is the only one I've ever played with people I knew. Heck, I've used it to keep in touch with Amanda and Gator-- where there were instances of all three of us killing things together. And you know what? That was the only reason I played. It made the game interesting when my brother was in my party, sharing things with me and fighting alongside. It was much more interesting to try to protect someone you knew from being killed.
People I played Lineage with include Amanda, Gator, RA (Erik Jacobson), Bryan Brigner, Shane Jewell, Chase Hammontree, Adam Knapp, Caleb Miracle, Caleb Knowles, Travis Traxler, and probably many others I've forgotten to mention.
This is also the game I've played the most, and for good reason. There are hundreds of free servers to play on, and they're all different. But the main game is usually the same-- get some friends, kill stuff, enjoy the electronic spoils. Lineage is probably the best proof I have that anything can be fun if you're willing to try it with the right people. The world is intense, even more so when you include the observations of your friends. I've raced to the top of a mountain, just to sit for a little while and look around. I've also "met" people from all over the world in this game. I remember distinctly certain conversations about the real world I've had with Latvians, Brazilians, Germans, Russians, and Australians. Besides, can you imagine me as a huge, green orc with dreadlocks?
Well, if you can't, then maybe we should play sometime. As long as you can get past the Korean-looking characters and a couple of wardrobe malfunctions... yep.
4) WORLD OF WARCRAFT
I did the impossible. I played the game for three days and quit.
It wasn't much fun. Now, technically, I say that because I wasn't playing with anyone else. There's really a lot to do, if you can find someone to do it with. But most of the chatter is about business in the game-- not the world we live in. It was disappointing for me. That, and after a couple hours of playing, I didn't even have enough money for my little gnome to have a new knife. Screw that.
5) MAPLE STORY
This is a cartoon. It was made by Koreans for Koreans. But I was initially drawn to this game after hearing about an impressive feat of electronic-real world integration in Japan, with the first recorded case of "digital murder."
Read about it here, you'll get a good laugh.
The very fact that you can even be married in the first place in this game displays what kind of time commitment most players put forth. It's ridiculous. Most people don't have time to talk-- they're too busy killing creature... after creature... after creature. Honestly, the most boring thing I've ever done; regardless of the fact that I was a pirate.
6) RAPPELZ
Another game made by Koreans for Koreans... and it didn't make it quite past the translation barrier. Not only was it really hard to understand what I was supposed to be doing half the time, but the chat is totally clogged with spam. There's no way to talk to anyone... about anything. That's all right, I figure they don't know what's going on, either.
At least I had a pet turtle. But I didn't get to name him. That's balls, Korea.
7) PERFECT WORLD
The game's not presumptuous, it's Taoist. It is fun to look at, though. Even though I was by myself, I found myself climbing mountains and walking through forests just for fun. Every once and a while, you'll see a random character sitting on the roof of a hut or under a waterfall, meditating. There's a spiritual aspect of the game that I haven't seen anywhere else, which creates a sort of Easter egg hunt to find a reclusive place to leave your character to meditate while you go take a break. Genius.
You know, I've probably played more than this. Obviously, Lineage was my favorite. But who knows? If any of my friends try a different one, maybe I'll give it a try. After all, it's a new experience.
I love new experiences. Over the years, I've played a lot of games. And in a lot of these games, there are other not-real people controlled by real people... from all over the world. It can be a lot of fun to step into the realm of someone else's imagination and find another person there, doing the same thing you are. Of course, anyone can be anyone on the Internet, so your interactions are limited by perception and perceived perception. It's a lot like high school.
Since I've been doing that for so long, I suppose I took it for granted that these worlds existed.
However, over the course of the past year, I've been actively going out and trying new games like this (they're called MMOs or MMORPGs), only to see what new kinds of social environments I find. After giving a few a good try (at least a week for most cases), I've decided to report on the social climate of every MMO I've ever played. Like I said, it's pretty nerdy, but this is fun for me.
I'll also fill you in on some of the lingo that's used, if you're not familiar with the terms. Free of charge.
(Disclaimer: I didn't pay for any of this.)
1) RUNESCAPE
The very fist MMO I ever played... and I probably picked this up at about 13 years old. I thought it was the coolest, even though I apparently sucked at it. It's a game you can play for free, even though most of the game was restricted access that you had to pay for. You can run around and pretty much do whatever-- as long as you didn't hurt anyone or say any bad words (it bleeps out a lot of sketchy words like "piss"). This is because the majority of the player population consists of legal minors. This affects the social climate greatly, as you might imagine. Most conversations end up being about how they're playing the game in class, how much better they are than you (more than likely calling you a noob, no matter what level you are), and how "retarded" something is, which is usually just some random aspect of the game... or their parents.
Terms used:
noob (n.) - an inexperienced or ignorant player, derogatory (from "newbie")
level (n.) - an ordered plateau or stage of player development, usually having an arbitrary cap of maximum development (i.e. 80 in WoW)
So what? In Runescape, there are no social groups to speak of... no "guilds" or "alliances" or anything like that. You're basically on your own, so you don't have to deal with anyone at all and still play. But this makes the game boring after a while... so if you don't know the guy on the other end of another character, you might find yourself quitting after hitting rocks all day-- unless you make like other troublemakers in the game, who thrive on disrupting the normal play of everyone else in the game through harassment and trolling (usually older players). I found myself struggling to find reasons to keep playing after a very short time, and eventually quit after getting scammed by some wanker pre-teen.
Terms used:
troll (v.) - to randomly instigate and provoke to anger and fury via the Interweb (i.e. anonymously posting a picture of Buddy Jesus on an atheism message board)
2) FURCADIA
Oh Lord, I wish I didn't have to admit that even contemplated visiting the website. But it was too rich-- I had to see what this was like. Late in high school, I gave Furcadia a whirl. Now, let me tell you: it wasn't anything that my 15-year-old mind imagined. Furcadia is a world where people make characters that are animals. I said it. Animals. I was a dog. A blue dog, son.
Furcadia was also the only MMO I've "played" that wasn't actually a game. It was like a visual, virtual chatroom... where people did things, but with really no consequence. The population was also usually much older than Runescape (we're talking 16-30 years old). There's some sick people in that world. However, I did manage to share a bit of my testimony to a gray horse... next to a pool. Like I said, new experiences. But I'll never go back to Furcadia-- that was way too weird.
3) LINEAGE 2
I can honestly say that this is the only one I've ever played with people I knew. Heck, I've used it to keep in touch with Amanda and Gator-- where there were instances of all three of us killing things together. And you know what? That was the only reason I played. It made the game interesting when my brother was in my party, sharing things with me and fighting alongside. It was much more interesting to try to protect someone you knew from being killed.
People I played Lineage with include Amanda, Gator, RA (Erik Jacobson), Bryan Brigner, Shane Jewell, Chase Hammontree, Adam Knapp, Caleb Miracle, Caleb Knowles, Travis Traxler, and probably many others I've forgotten to mention.
This is also the game I've played the most, and for good reason. There are hundreds of free servers to play on, and they're all different. But the main game is usually the same-- get some friends, kill stuff, enjoy the electronic spoils. Lineage is probably the best proof I have that anything can be fun if you're willing to try it with the right people. The world is intense, even more so when you include the observations of your friends. I've raced to the top of a mountain, just to sit for a little while and look around. I've also "met" people from all over the world in this game. I remember distinctly certain conversations about the real world I've had with Latvians, Brazilians, Germans, Russians, and Australians. Besides, can you imagine me as a huge, green orc with dreadlocks?
Well, if you can't, then maybe we should play sometime. As long as you can get past the Korean-looking characters and a couple of wardrobe malfunctions... yep.
4) WORLD OF WARCRAFT
I did the impossible. I played the game for three days and quit.
It wasn't much fun. Now, technically, I say that because I wasn't playing with anyone else. There's really a lot to do, if you can find someone to do it with. But most of the chatter is about business in the game-- not the world we live in. It was disappointing for me. That, and after a couple hours of playing, I didn't even have enough money for my little gnome to have a new knife. Screw that.
5) MAPLE STORY
This is a cartoon. It was made by Koreans for Koreans. But I was initially drawn to this game after hearing about an impressive feat of electronic-real world integration in Japan, with the first recorded case of "digital murder."
Read about it here, you'll get a good laugh.
The very fact that you can even be married in the first place in this game displays what kind of time commitment most players put forth. It's ridiculous. Most people don't have time to talk-- they're too busy killing creature... after creature... after creature. Honestly, the most boring thing I've ever done; regardless of the fact that I was a pirate.
6) RAPPELZ
Another game made by Koreans for Koreans... and it didn't make it quite past the translation barrier. Not only was it really hard to understand what I was supposed to be doing half the time, but the chat is totally clogged with spam. There's no way to talk to anyone... about anything. That's all right, I figure they don't know what's going on, either.
At least I had a pet turtle. But I didn't get to name him. That's balls, Korea.
7) PERFECT WORLD
The game's not presumptuous, it's Taoist. It is fun to look at, though. Even though I was by myself, I found myself climbing mountains and walking through forests just for fun. Every once and a while, you'll see a random character sitting on the roof of a hut or under a waterfall, meditating. There's a spiritual aspect of the game that I haven't seen anywhere else, which creates a sort of Easter egg hunt to find a reclusive place to leave your character to meditate while you go take a break. Genius.
You know, I've probably played more than this. Obviously, Lineage was my favorite. But who knows? If any of my friends try a different one, maybe I'll give it a try. After all, it's a new experience.
11.6.09
A furrowing of the brow
I hate to say it, but I'm disappointed with Obama so far. In fact, I'm pretty disappointed with the government in general.
- He pushed for the criminal Freedom of Choice act. Don't get me started, because you know that conversation will go straight to eugenics.
- GM now stands for "Government Motors." Is that seriously legal? Just how do Democrats justify this? If I had a dollar for every time I heard a Dem complain about the way that the executive branch was wielding incredibly centralized power in the previous administration, well... I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent, that's for sure. What is the difference here? I have been trying very hard not to be cynical of politicians lately, but they're not making it easy.
- When are we coming home again? oh... a couple of years still. It'll still be "Merry Christmas from a very broken Baghdad" for a long time. At least they don't have to worry about looking for a job right now.
- Health reform plan needs a lot of work. Study up, sir. This is the one bill that needs to move, pronto. In fact, why don't you just call this one the "Look How Much Money Can We Save With Only One Signature Bill." It's pretty catchy, right?
I know I don't normally talk about politics on here, but I need some release. And I don't even know how well McCain or Nader would be doing in his stead, seeing as this is tough stuff. But it'd be nice to be doing better.
- He pushed for the criminal Freedom of Choice act. Don't get me started, because you know that conversation will go straight to eugenics.
- GM now stands for "Government Motors." Is that seriously legal? Just how do Democrats justify this? If I had a dollar for every time I heard a Dem complain about the way that the executive branch was wielding incredibly centralized power in the previous administration, well... I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent, that's for sure. What is the difference here? I have been trying very hard not to be cynical of politicians lately, but they're not making it easy.
- When are we coming home again? oh... a couple of years still. It'll still be "Merry Christmas from a very broken Baghdad" for a long time. At least they don't have to worry about looking for a job right now.
- Health reform plan needs a lot of work. Study up, sir. This is the one bill that needs to move, pronto. In fact, why don't you just call this one the "Look How Much Money Can We Save With Only One Signature Bill." It's pretty catchy, right?
I know I don't normally talk about politics on here, but I need some release. And I don't even know how well McCain or Nader would be doing in his stead, seeing as this is tough stuff. But it'd be nice to be doing better.
4.6.09
The grad school list, with bonus material on why swine flu actually matters!
Seeing as this seems to be the most effective mode of communication between me and the people who care about me (sorry Mom), I've decided to list the choices I'm considering for grad school. Mind you, this is for a masters in public health (MPH), for which there are only between 20-30 accredited schools in the whole country. Here goes.
1) University of Louisville
Louisville, KY
My first pick and still my favorite-- also one of the cheaper options, and the only school I've actually been able to visit. That only helped. It's a fledgling school, only having been accredited a few years ago, and began within the past ten years. The health science campus is in the downtown area, and everything I'll need will be within a two-block radius. Magical. Being on the demographic fence between "rural" and "urban", the type of practical experience I'd end up doing would be exactly what I'm looking for. And it's in Kentucky, which is probably one of my favorite states of the Union. If you don't get it, just google "Kentucky", and you'll set the first photo you see as your wallpaper. I guarantee it. All I'd have to do is get reacquainted with the dialect (as well as keep my Spartan pride undercover) and UL would make this 1.5 years very tolerable.
2) Saint Louis University
St. Louis, MO
I was skeptical of this joint at first. On the website (www.asph.org), SLU sounds like every other public health school. However, I noticed that they don't charge extra for Missouri non-residents... which made it worth checking into. I finally got my requested information yesterday. Lo and behold, they're Jesuits. That makes SLU the only Christian school on the list, but more importantly, the smallest. It's probably the priciest option (at about $40k for the whole deal right now), but not by very much. Besides, they offer more joint-degrees than I've seen anywhere else, as well as a very unique specialization: biosecurity and disaster preparedness. Very Jesuit, and an exploding field... but probably not my bag, to be honest. But who knows...
3) University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, MI
Yikes. I never dreamed I would even think about gracing such soiled grass with my righteous footsteps. However, U of M is the only college in Michigan that is accredited by the CEPH, and that's a huge deal for me. Plus, they have a slew of specialization options. I'm talking about options like hospital and molecular epidemiology (studying how diseases dare spread in the cleanest places on the planet) or industrial hygiene (studying how we can prevent job-site body destruction) And like a big ol' blue-and-maize cherry on top, there's their world-renowned research facilities (which would normally go without saying, but that's a big deal, too). Since I get a shrunk-down Michigan resident rate, U of M is ironically the bargain of the day. So, if I don't mind a couple more years of lame weather, and have the hutzpah to actually submit my application into an inevitable contestant field of certified-genius wunderkinder and only-childs, Michigan could turn my MPH slingshot into a dang trebuchet.
4) University of Kentucky
Lexington, KY
Neither does UK charge much extra for out of state residents-- they try to make up for the difference with endowment. Kentucky mainly specializes in rural, community health. It's not something I'm opposed to... just not something I'd choose over UL or SLU. Plus, this place is in Kentucky, too. Ka-ching.
5) Michigan State University
East Lansing, MI
Say what? James, aren't you a Spartan fan? Why isn't this choice on top?
Not accredited, online program.
That should be all I have to say about that.
-------------------
So, why does swine flu (H1N1) matter?
It's new. Every new disease should be treated with incredible caution. Notable cross-special pandemics would include malaria, AIDS, smallpox, and the bubonic plague-- all of those are or were really bad for us.
But isn't it just the flu?
The irony. Consider this: when was the last time you had the flu? And I'm talking about the real flu... not the "I-threw-up-twice-this-morning-and-I-have-a-headache-so-WebMD-said-I-have-the-flu" flu. It's debilitating, it's potentially life-threatening, and highly contagious. One things we know for sure about H1N1 is that it can be passed during a period of up to eight days-- one of those days comes before symptoms appear. That's right, you can get people sick before you even know that you're sick, yourself.
How could it ever affect me if so few have it?
Don't know. That's probably the scariest part of H1N1-- we just don't know much about it yet. We do know that it has components of human, avian, and swine flu in the same package. But we have no vaccine, no unique diagnostic methods, and no way of pinning down exactly how it's mutating (something for which influenza is notorious). Just keep the coughing to yourself and be clean, though, and you should do all right.
Why are people freaking out and ruining my TRAVEL PLANS???
Glad you asked. That's an attempt to keep narrow-minded tourists from escalating a situation that could have been a lot worse than it is. Americans can't go to Mexico, and Europeans are staying away from the whole danged continent. By cordoning it off, it's possible to stop it from becoming a second kind of flu to worry about. Just ask a doctor-- one flu is plenty.
1) University of Louisville
Louisville, KY
My first pick and still my favorite-- also one of the cheaper options, and the only school I've actually been able to visit. That only helped. It's a fledgling school, only having been accredited a few years ago, and began within the past ten years. The health science campus is in the downtown area, and everything I'll need will be within a two-block radius. Magical. Being on the demographic fence between "rural" and "urban", the type of practical experience I'd end up doing would be exactly what I'm looking for. And it's in Kentucky, which is probably one of my favorite states of the Union. If you don't get it, just google "Kentucky", and you'll set the first photo you see as your wallpaper. I guarantee it. All I'd have to do is get reacquainted with the dialect (as well as keep my Spartan pride undercover) and UL would make this 1.5 years very tolerable.
2) Saint Louis University
St. Louis, MO
I was skeptical of this joint at first. On the website (www.asph.org), SLU sounds like every other public health school. However, I noticed that they don't charge extra for Missouri non-residents... which made it worth checking into. I finally got my requested information yesterday. Lo and behold, they're Jesuits. That makes SLU the only Christian school on the list, but more importantly, the smallest. It's probably the priciest option (at about $40k for the whole deal right now), but not by very much. Besides, they offer more joint-degrees than I've seen anywhere else, as well as a very unique specialization: biosecurity and disaster preparedness. Very Jesuit, and an exploding field... but probably not my bag, to be honest. But who knows...
3) University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, MI
Yikes. I never dreamed I would even think about gracing such soiled grass with my righteous footsteps. However, U of M is the only college in Michigan that is accredited by the CEPH, and that's a huge deal for me. Plus, they have a slew of specialization options. I'm talking about options like hospital and molecular epidemiology (studying how diseases dare spread in the cleanest places on the planet) or industrial hygiene (studying how we can prevent job-site body destruction) And like a big ol' blue-and-maize cherry on top, there's their world-renowned research facilities (which would normally go without saying, but that's a big deal, too). Since I get a shrunk-down Michigan resident rate, U of M is ironically the bargain of the day. So, if I don't mind a couple more years of lame weather, and have the hutzpah to actually submit my application into an inevitable contestant field of certified-genius wunderkinder and only-childs, Michigan could turn my MPH slingshot into a dang trebuchet.
4) University of Kentucky
Lexington, KY
Neither does UK charge much extra for out of state residents-- they try to make up for the difference with endowment. Kentucky mainly specializes in rural, community health. It's not something I'm opposed to... just not something I'd choose over UL or SLU. Plus, this place is in Kentucky, too. Ka-ching.
5) Michigan State University
East Lansing, MI
Say what? James, aren't you a Spartan fan? Why isn't this choice on top?
Not accredited, online program.
That should be all I have to say about that.
-------------------
So, why does swine flu (H1N1) matter?
It's new. Every new disease should be treated with incredible caution. Notable cross-special pandemics would include malaria, AIDS, smallpox, and the bubonic plague-- all of those are or were really bad for us.
But isn't it just the flu?
The irony. Consider this: when was the last time you had the flu? And I'm talking about the real flu... not the "I-threw-up-twice-this-morning-and-I-have-a-headache-so-WebMD-said-I-have-the-flu" flu. It's debilitating, it's potentially life-threatening, and highly contagious. One things we know for sure about H1N1 is that it can be passed during a period of up to eight days-- one of those days comes before symptoms appear. That's right, you can get people sick before you even know that you're sick, yourself.
How could it ever affect me if so few have it?
Don't know. That's probably the scariest part of H1N1-- we just don't know much about it yet. We do know that it has components of human, avian, and swine flu in the same package. But we have no vaccine, no unique diagnostic methods, and no way of pinning down exactly how it's mutating (something for which influenza is notorious). Just keep the coughing to yourself and be clean, though, and you should do all right.
Why are people freaking out and ruining my TRAVEL PLANS???
Glad you asked. That's an attempt to keep narrow-minded tourists from escalating a situation that could have been a lot worse than it is. Americans can't go to Mexico, and Europeans are staying away from the whole danged continent. By cordoning it off, it's possible to stop it from becoming a second kind of flu to worry about. Just ask a doctor-- one flu is plenty.
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