Missed chances

(In house where retired NFL greats call home:
MARINO is found sleeping in his bed. He is having a dream. The Dolphins have won the Super Bowl, and MARINO is lifted up on the shoulders of his teammates after winning MVP. The players then suddenly evaporate, along with the trophy and crowds, and he falls on the bare grass. This wakes him up. He pouts as he crawls out of bed and heads to the kitchen.

AIKMAN is already in the kitchen. He is sitting on a stool next to the island, eating cereal. YOUNG is also in the kitchen, making coffee. MARINO stumbles in, rubbing his eyes.)

AIKMAN: Hey, rough night, Marino?
MARINO: Yeah, I had a really weird dream.
AIKMAN: Oh yeah?

(MARINO grabs some milk from the fridge and turns back to AIKMAN.)

MARINO: (pause) Troy, if you got the chance to go back and do it again, what would you do differently?

(AIKMAN thinks. YOUNG's attention is distracted from the coffee, pending AIKMAN's reply. AIKMAN raises a spoonful of Wheaties to his mouth, and a ray of light glimmers from one of his Super Bowl rings. He smiles.)

AIKMAN: Nothing, Dan.

(MARINO looks down at his bare hand. YOUNG chuckles, but looks back to see coffee all over the counter.)

YOUNG: (cursing inaudibly)
MARINO: Whoa, got that, ace?



This is the type of thing I think about in the shower.

When I don't care

was it perfection that you wanted
it added up to be your fall
to your mistakes
you wanted it to be inside your worst belief

was it another thing you started
it added up to be your fall
to your mistakes
you wanted it to be his voice that calls your name

and I'm sorry
for all those things in me
when I don't care
I know you're always there

I just wanted to get this started

["Starting Line" by Number One Gun]

Taming a ghost

Vengeance always sounds like a nice idea.

From my perspective, descending upon a former love like a shadowy hawk sounded great. Like a time-traveling, transparent ghost, I would have both the element of surprise and previously unseen ferocity. I jumped all over the thought of discovering the truth that she was, and is, such a terrible person. And what right would she have to fight back? I would have victory almost by default.

Man's anger does not work out God's righteousness.

I don't hunt for sport-- I only kill what I eat. What right do I have to strike out at her? I would suffer defeat as soon as I began.

Contentment can't be trusted

sometimes I hate when everything's okay
where is the chaos and decay
where's the heartache and the tears
and all the pain I hold so dear
sometimes when everything's all right
I find I just can't sleep at night
contentment can't be trusted
wasn't meant for "well-adjusted"

sometimes when things are all screwed up
oh man I just can't get enough
out of control don't let it stop
can't wait for the other shoe to drop
two moons like Damocles
like kaboom, kabow to all of these
I swear sometimes I can almost feel my soul

movin on and I'm still livin in a Babylon daze
I'm failing forward on an awkward state of grace
gonna see if all that's to that fire
is used by my high-tension wires
heck no one was watching anyway

it's like I just can't take the peace
I need the wedge I need release
need to know when things are wrong
need another angry song
so keep your quiet keep your calm
I'll go off like a bomb
if only just to feel my flippin heartbeat

movin on and I'm still livin in a Babylon daze
I'm failing forward on an awkward state of grace
gonna see if all that's to that fire
is used by my high-tension wires
heck no one was watching anyway

["Babylon Daze" by The Havenots]