"Please don't fart. If you fart, it's bad, but then I have to return fire, and that opens up hell.
It's not fair! I can't do the same thing! You're like America, and I'm like... I dunno, some pissy country with only one bomb. So if you bomb me, I'll have to be like, 'Okay, I guess I have to return fire now,' but if you bomb me then everything will explode!
Do you see how that's not fair?"